Engaged, Now What? Part 4: Creating Your Guest List
From Shannon Dexter and Vikki Marsee of All You Need Is Love Events
Creating your guest list can be a long, tiring and stressful situation. Do you let mom invite her book club friends? Do you have to invite all your co-workers? How do you indicate plus one’s aren’t invited? Not to worry – All You Need is Love Events is here to minimize madness and get your guest list looking the way YOU want it to be!
Step 1: Stay Quiet
Of course you’ll want to call mom and dad and your closest friends and maybe even announce the engagement on Facebook, but refrain from calling every single friend in your phone book until you know the details of the event. Calling anybody outside of your immediate clan would set expectations that you may not be able to uphold. Once you know the details – size, space, and budget – you’ll be able to gently tell those not-so-close co-workers the wedding is a small, family only event.
Step 2: Who’s Coming to Dinner?
There are two easy ways we always tell our brides and grooms how to whittle down a guest list – 1. Would you spend $150 to take them out to dinner? and 2. Would you invite them into your home for dinner? If the answer is no to either – or both – then they shouldn’t be attending your wedding.
Step 3: Don’t be Bullied
It may be hard to say “no” if one family is footing much of the bill, but stay firm on your boundaries. This is YOUR wedding – and 4th cousin Betty shouldn’t be invited if you’ve only met her once when you were 4 and you don’t want to pay $150 for her to eat and drink all night long.
Step 4: Create the B List
You’ll sometimes hear that it’s not good wedding etiquette to create a B List of guests. However, we’re here to tell you we find absolutely nothing wrong with it – as long as nobody finds out they are on the B List! Have a group of people on your B List that you would like to be there, but right now, cannot afford. If you do get the 10-30% of people who RSVP a “no” then you can send out a second set of invites to the B List, with a later RSVP date. However, don’t wait too long to get that second set of invites out – no one wants to get invited to a wedding a week before the event.
Step 4: Write the Name
It’s going to happen to everyone – you only want your friend Mark to attend, but he RSVP’s with his guests name as well, someone you have never met and they’ve only been dating a week. How to avoid this sticky situation? Address your guests name on the envelope AND on the RSVP card. Then have a blank line where they can indicate whether they are attending or sending regrets. That way, no one can force an unwanted guest on you.
Remember, this is part 4 in our series of “Engaged! Now What?” Keep your eyes peeled here at Marriage.com for our expert posts to find out what comes next!
Shannon Dexter and Vikki Marsee run All You Need Is Love Events, a full service wedding and event planning company in Southern California. From deciding on a budget to choosing the invitations, the flowers, the cake and everything in between, they assist couples through every aspect of wedding planning. Recognizing that each event is unique, they customize their services and packages accordingly. Learn more about Shannon and Vikki here; read their own fabulous blog here; and, check out their website for event planning services.