How To: Survive the Registry Process

Often one of the biggest trials for engaged couples is the registry process. If you can get through this unscathed, then you’re in good shape. Sound extreme? Under normal circumstances the topic of gifts probably wouldn’t take down a relationship, but wedding planning magnifies everything, causing tension and forcing you to have conversations you wouldn’t normally have. Though difficult, working through these issues will make you stronger, deepening your relationship and uniting you more than ever before.

The best thing you can do for yourself is not fight the process. People are thrown because one moment you’re talking about china patterns and the next you’re debating your approach to family holidays. It’s normal. Now here’s what you need to know:


  • You discover you have different tastes
  • Department store tolerances vary, melt-downs happen
  • Combining households is harder than it seems and you’re not on the same page about what you need
  • You’re feeling rushed to make decisions that you’re not ready for


  • Communication and inclusiveness are key: Many brides are shocked when their grooms have an opinion about the registry. Welcome their involvement! This is a great way to start conversations about what kind of household you want to create: from visions about decor to values on greener living.
  • Find an alternative online registry: Inventory is limited, but your lives are unlimited! If a traditional registry feels too rigid, you might like an online cash gift registry. It’s the ultimate in flexibility, allowing you to share with guests what you’re dreaming of so they can have the thrill of making it happen for you.
  • Consider registering for experiences: As you combine your households you may find that you have most traditional household items and don’t need more stuff – the initial purge was painful enough! Why not register for your honeymoon, hobbies or newlywed getaways to create lasting memories?
  • Remember, you’re in control: If outside forces are making you feel pressured and it’s affecting your relationship, take a step back. People will always have opinions, but what matters is what’s going on between the two of you. With perspective you can find common ground and find an approach that best suits the needs of the family you are creating together!

Dana Ostomel is the founder and Chief Gifting Officer of Deposit a Gift, a cash gift registry service. Years before Dana got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents—and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), track and use them all. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process—and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana.

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