When you get married you don’t necessarily tend to think about what the future may hold. Sure you think about the good times and the positive things which is great, but you may not necessarily consider the adversity that life may bring your way. The very best of relationships go through some difficult times, and these are the things that you must think of before you get married. Life may not always be easy, and you want to be sure that you are with somebody who will help you to weather the storm!
Many people go through the whole process of falling in love and feel that’s enough to sustain their relationship throughout marriage. Yes love is definitely an important factor in the relationship, but it’s about much more than that too. If you want to make this relationship work in the long term & enjoy a successful marriage, then you have to ask your partner some pivotal questions now to ensure you are truly linked. You want to be sure of how you will handle tough situations together, and that you are really a match no matter what life may throw your way.
Here are some helpful pre-marriage questions to ask your partner before marriage. The answers can really help to solidify your bond together or may raise some red flags. No matter what, just be certain that you ask the tough questions so that you are fully aware of what significant differences may exist between the two of you.
1. Why do you want to marry me?
This is an important question to ask because you want to know the real reason behind this upcoming union. If they felt pressured or made the decision out of haste, then you need to know that. If they want to marry you because they truly love you and can’t imagine their life without you, then that can help to calm any fears that you may have. This is a good gateway question to ensure that you are both entering this union for all of the right reasons.
2. What do you love about me?
It’s not so much that you are searching for a compliment here, but you are trying to understand what drew them to you in the first place. Their answer should be focused on your whole self and not just on something like physical traits. You want somebody to marry you because you are their true partner and because they love everything about you, both good and bad. See how they answer this and their willingness to list the reasons that they love and adore you!
3. Will you lovingly accept children and work to be a good parent?
You absolutely need to have the conversation about children well before you get married. You want to be certain that you both want children, and that you will commit to being good parents. This question also leads into beliefs, family ideals, and even discipline methods. You need to know their philosophy and outlook on parenting, and be sure that you both want the same things someday.
4. Will you be with me through the rough times, no matter what they may bring?
Sure the simple answer is “yes” but you want them to provide some sort of substance here. Maybe even present your partner with some scenarios of things that may go wrong in life and see how they would help you through it. You need to know without any hesitation or doubt that this person will help you through the rough times, and how they will do it too.
5. How will you always help to keep the spark alive?
At some point in time life will get busy with kids or work or some other outside factor, and you need to stay in love. Let them tell you how they will always keep that passion and connection alive, and see just how important it is to them as well. Never assume that they will make this a priority, ask the how they plan to put their effort into this.
6. Will you support me no matter what that entails?
If you get sick, lose a job, or just happen to hit a rough patch in life you need to know that they will support you. This is a great way to discuss future plans and to know how you can work together as a team. It’s always best to discuss how you will support each other to solidify the relationship between you two.
7. How can we grow together so we don’t grow apart?
There are many couples that grow apart over time and you want to do your part to ensure that is not how you will be. Have them explain to you how you can work to grow together even when you both change as individuals. It’s not always an easy topic to discuss, but it matters greatly.
The more that you discuss in the here and now, the more that it will help your relationship in the future. Don’t get married without having these conversations, and you will be so much happier in the end for it. The couple that talks about things and works at the relationship together is the couple who has that happily ever after that everyone dreams about!