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A Hope that Endures all Things: Real Love in Marriage

Real love in marriage

Many of us seek real love in marriage. It seems elusive, but is so very possible. As you read on, take a love at some real love stories that encapsulate the dynamics of healthy relationships. Who knows, you may see yourself in these stories. Better yet, create a love story that speaks to the bond you share with your beloved.

Self-giving love

A young couple are desperately poor but so deeply in the throes of love. Both want to buy a Christmas gift for the other, but they have no money to do so. Finally, Della, the wife, goes out and sells her beautiful long hair in order to buy her husband, Jim, a chain for his one treasure in life, a stunning gold watch. While this loss is significant for Della, the joy her husband will experience on Christmas morning is well worth the sacrifice she must offer. On Christmas morning Della approaches her husband with heart ablaze with affection. Jim, her husband, declares, “Darlin’, what happened to your hair?” Without saying a word, Della presents her love with the stunning chain she has purchased with her golden locks of luscious hair.  That’s when Della discovers that Jim has sold his watch in order to buy his wife a set of beautiful combs for her golden follicles.

 

Bringing life to others may come at a terrific cost to us. To trust another costs us something of our independence and our right to question and push. To take life up and embrace it fully, costs us substantial outpourings of self that can longer be spent on frivolity and meaninglessness. Breathing life into our children, our neighbors, our significant others implies that we’re prepared to let go of our golden locks of hair, our prized pocket watch and maybe far more – for the good of the other.

For the love of a child

Several times a year, my first grade class would walk to the end of the fifth grade hall and gather at the base of the statue that stood there in the corner.  I always stood in awe. Mesmerized. One figure before us was elegant, understated, and beautiful. A woman with a long slender build, dressed in baby blue gowns with silvery trim along the length of the fabric. Pearlescent face without blemish or wrinkle. Her steady strong eyes expressed an air of nobility, refinement, presence. Her shoulder-length brown hair, partially obscured by the fine linen veil atop her head, seemed to have a stylist’s’ touch to it. The woman carried a baby in her arms. Plump, healthy, blond hair, mama’s eyes. Both mother and child adorned with exquisite gold crowns and unassuming, Mona Lisa like smiles. The two seemed so comfortable, so confident, so poised and proper.

 

To the mama and baby’s right, was another figure. Cleary a husband and daddy. His tired but loving eyes indicated that he would do anything for his wife and the child. Walk any distance, and climb any mountain.

 

One by one, we walked up to the figures and placed our home grown flowers at their feet. Roses, Camellias, I brought azaleas if they were in bloom. Solemnly, we would then return to our place in the circle of first graders, and wait for Sister St. Anne’s queue. With a wave of her index finger, we recited the prayers and songs engrained in the souls of all first graders at Christ our King School. And then, as quietly as we arrived at the statue, we returned to our classroom down at the end of the first grade hall.

 

This couple epitomized love and marriage. A particular bond expressed in the raising of a precious child.

Beautiful and Stupid –Inspired by Larry Petton

A wonder couple is having a heated argument. Finally, in a moment of sheer crankiness, the husband blurts out to his beloved, “Honey, I don’t know why God made you so beautiful while so stupid at the same time!” The woman grimaced at her husband and abruptly replied, “I believe God made me beautiful so you could love me so darn intently. On the other hand, God made me a tad STUPID so I could actually love you!”

 

50 Years – Inspired by James Cook

There’s a wonderful story about an older cup in the midst of a trip to the grocery store. While they purchase their groceries at the checkout counter, they are busy discussing their upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. A young cashier spurts,”I cannot begin to imagine the thought of being married to the same man for fifty years!”  Astutely, the wife replies, “Well, darling, I don’t suggest you marry anyone until you can.”

 

Overcoming the Clock – Inspired by Dr. H.W. Jurgen

Sociologists insist that married partners converse with each other 70 minutes every day while in the midst of the first year of their marriage. During the second year of marriage, the chat clock falls to 30 minutes a day. By the fourth year, the number is a paltry 15 minutes. Jump ahead to the eighth year. By the eighth year, a husband and wife may approach silence. The point? If you seek a vital, loving marriage, you must begin to put this trend into reverse. Imagine if we talked even more with every subsequent year?

 

Rebuilding the Homefront – Home MacArthur Went Home

The United States’ once acclaimed ambassador to Japan, Douglas MacArthur, also fulfilled a stint as a spokesperson of the State Department. John Foster Dulles was MacArthur’s supervisor at the time. MacArthur, like his boss Dulles, was known to be a hard worker.

 

One afternoon, Dulles called the MacArthur home asking for his subordinate. MacArthur’s wife mistook Dulles for an aide and snapped at the caller. She yelled, “MacArthur is where MacArthur always is, weekdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and nights – in that office!” A few minutes later, Douglas got an order from Dulles. Dulles said, “Go home at once, boy. Your home front is crumbling.”

 

One of the great keys to a healthy, loving marriage is ensuring that the home front is secure. We do this by honoring our spouse’s space, ideas, and time. Sometimes honoring these facets of marriage means more investment from us.

 

If you desire real love in marriage, then be willing to do your part to lift-up your partner. Listen to your partner’s stories, share yours, and continue to create common stories every day. You will experience the power of love in a profound way.